So I really don’t want this place to turn into a hub for all the writings about my personal life, but I would like to take the time to alert anyone who visits my site to know what life is bringing on my plate so that they ergo know what my turnaround time is. Depression really eats away at artistic creativity and I hope that my customers understand that and know that I don’t work on their piece unless I’m really, REALLY feeling good about it. No one likes to receive an artwork that it’s obvious was not worked on to be enjoyed or to create the best product possible.
Long story short, my husband and I are getting a divorce, and while it’s amicable, mutual, and decidedly the best thing we both agree should happen, it’s been difficult to deal with sleeping in separate beds, being in separate rooms, and just basically limiting our contact and interaction with one another by 70%. That being said…I also have a roommate, one that no longer feels that way toward me but he was vying for my romantic attention throughout most of this process. I had strong feelings for this roommate, ones that seemed illogical to me most of the time but he would prove time and time again that they were valid and deserved.
We didn’t get along that well to be perfectly honest…we were always offending each other, or doing something to piss one another off and by the end of our ‘relationship’ we were walking on eggshells around each other. After one particularly large argument he decides he’s moving out, and that’s the end of that. In the end he really didn’t want to respect that I was ending a huge relationship and didn’t want to immediately get into another, and if he did respect that he didn’t show it very well. Either way, I don’t think we were right for one another.
To cope with the fact that I’m now mostly alone for the first time in 7+ years, I’ve thrown myself fully into my artwork, and it has been helping exponentially. I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have the inspiration to do it; I’d probably be swallowed up by my depression from having to deal with essentially two break ups at once. It’s truly been difficult to do so; I’ve been having to deal with loads of insomnia and sorting through emotions I didn’t even know I had, as well as examining the flaws of my character that directly lead to these toxic relationships.
On a much lighter and appealing note, I’ve been busting my bum in Paint Tool Sai and coming up with some really awesome ideas concerning concept artwork, studies, sketches, and gesture. I’ve been painting many different kinds of subjects; different animals such as dogs, wolves, cats, and birds, as well as trying my hand to get better at painting backgrounds and landscapes.